At first, we read on the internet that people with your type of MDS have an average expectation of 4 months after diagnosis. (I remember that day of discovery, and talking about it with Heidi on my cell phone. I was parked in my car, eyes leaking, and when we finally hung up I got out of the car, the cell phone tumbled from my pocket and I slammed the car door right on it, smashing it spectacularly. Not completely “accidental”, I suspect.) Well, here we are, 22 months later, and you are walking Alphie and giggling at operas.

Early on I expected the doctors to give us a road-map, telling us how long until we reached each landmark, what it would look like at that place, and when the Exit was. I sympathize with those doctors as I think back at it – imagine seeing all that expectation and knowing: there is no map!

So onward, mapless, we go. And in the meanwhile, a blue-jay sounds like a red tailed hawk? The sun shines bright here today, the leafless trees dance in the breeze like sculptures against the blue sky, my parrot is sitting contentedly with me in the sun, and my mother is miraculously alive and once again buying underwear for my husband for christmas. My heart feels warm and soft, my eyes start to leak, and I say: Thanks Be To God!