March 3, 2009
When one’s systems all fold in at the same time, there is a “sick” that is new again. After completing the second round of Vidaza, I immediately went into a dreadful event of intestinal illness, encased with extreme fatigue and pain in bones, lungs and head. More than any other thing, it seems as though a dullness of mind and body advance until there is very little left. Keeping down a broth made with electrolyte fluids becomes the key issue in a day when the world is in paroxysms of anxiety over so many other trials. I listen to my own voice and its pale concerns and conclude that this is a very boring person here. That said, the plan is “one day at a time” in hopes of recovering enough of a body and spirit to go forward into spring. I was told that this will be a “difficult” time and so it is. . . always more so than one can imagine, of course.
Meanwhile, friends and family are traveling and having fine experiences to brighten up their own days. Words about flying to New York, California, Arizona, and other destinations put forth so charmingly in the Travel sections of the newspapers flow past us, and one notes that none include coming to Nebraska to watch the snows melt off the brown paths or the trees slowly awakening to the new season.
I was sitting in the greenhouse “aweepin and awailin” about my trials and tribulations to Alphie who was lying right next to me, with head down and great sorrowful eyes watching me so sympathetically. As I went on, I realized that without moving his head or eyes, his left front paw was beginning to reach out to his side where a large chew bone was located, and he was carefully bringing it in closer to his own self. Aha. There went another theory of the dog sharing the pain wordlessly and in total devotion. Of course, it did bring to a close my soliloquy and remind me that life eventually needs to move on, chew bones and all. Hopefully, by next week’s post, I will be able to relate good news – perhaps even the economy will have turned around, the crocus will have broken through the ground and the robins will be settling into their morning songs.
PS: John-paul, illustrator of this blog, is also traveling, so it may be a few days before we see what images he brings.