Constance Ore is a retired Teacher, Choir Director, and Organist. And a formidable cook.

August 17, 2010

Filed under: — Constance at 9:01 pm on Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Our actual 50th wedding anniversary took place on Saturday, while our celebration took place in April. This was an excellent plan because I would not have enjoyed food, and the gathering would not have happened in the same fashion since I do look pretty sick now, and people would have been at a loss for words. We celebrated, of course, with Heidi the chef of the day and Charles bringing in many flowers.


I think Charles and i thought that 1) Nearly zero immunities because of the disease and 2) Pneumonia, historically the illness that gets one over to the other side, meant that I would die very soon. Sadly, we were wrong. I say “sadly” because the disease takes just a little bit of who and what you are each day. This is hard. Now my balance is challenged so I really do use the walker with the tennis balls on the ends of the pieces that keep you upright as you fling your shiny and clear green oxygen tube over your shoulder and go forth. Unfortunately, due to a general lack of all the skills required, I have rolled over Alphie’s tail – just the very end, but causing great affront as conveyed though his big sad eyes. I also have given over to John-paul the morning walk through Sanctuary because of not enough energy. He takes the camera and brings back lovely photos of sunrises, spider webs, and other delights, but it is not the same.


This Tuesday in August I slept all day. Last night I was sick to my stomach, and when one is also dependent on heavy duty drugs, then the problem becomes what goes, what stays, what went and how can that be sorted out. (I chose to not do the pain pills, to the hospice nurse’s relief.) I now think “well, that wouldn’t be so terrible. . .perhaps it would take me to the quiet and peaceful death that we all hope for.”


So goes life at Sanctuary right now. Charles and John-paul keep everything in order, with mowing, trimming, cooking and care. Alphie has one ear and one eye on John-paul much of the time because the rides, walks, and general good times are begun there. I pray a lot, and I hope to die before I get to experience the complete offerings that the disease has to offer.

12 Comments »

Comment by Carol Anderson Weber

August 17, 2010 @ 9:53 pm

Connie, I am always so moved to read your blog. God gave you a glorious gift when He taught you how to express yourself, and I’m so thankful you’ve been sharing this gift with the rest of us through this forum. I’m also so delighted and thankful that you and Charles got to celebrate your actual 50th anniversary–Happy Anniversary!!!

I’m only sad that this blog had as its origin THE DISEASE. Regardless, I will always treasure the opportunity I’ve had over the years of your blog to get just a glimpse of life from your delightful, intelligent, and faith-filled perspective.

Thank you for what you’re sharing with us, and for what you end up teaching us all.

hugs,
Carol

Comment by Irene Beethe

August 18, 2010 @ 3:57 am

Dear Connie, God’s peace, love, and care surround you this day! Love, Irene

Comment by Tom Ramsey

August 18, 2010 @ 8:01 am

May our Good Shepherd hold your hand and guide you through the valley of the shadow of death from life here to life there tenderly and with great dignity. You have made a difference in the lives of people beyond counting. Thank you. [Ascension Day will never be the same without our phone conversations!] God’s blessings! Jesus loves you and so do I! Tom

ps God’s blessings to Charles and Heidi and Janna and John-Paul also as they walk this road with you as far as they can go!

Comment by Caroline

August 18, 2010 @ 8:10 am

Connie, A few months after I met Grandma Rothe, she had her 89th birthday. The family came and she was pleased, because “This will be my last one.” As you know she lived many years yet and said to me more than once, “Why does the Lord not take me? I am ready.” Well, I don’t presume to know God’s will but I do know I learned a lot in those years by observing not only her great faith and confidence in the Lord’s plan for her, but by the behavior of those around her. Why God has gifted you with these four years I don’t know, but those around you have seen, and been blessed, by your continued faith in the face of growing adversity. We love you and wish for you peace.
God’s grace sister by chance. Caroline

Comment by Diane Cassady

August 18, 2010 @ 10:42 am

I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; and can imagine your repeated question to God, “Why?” There must be a reason why he has not yet brought you to your heavenly home. While I wish there were something I could do to ease your agony and anguish, I hope you find some comfort in knowing that you have taught others so much about all points in the cycle of life.
I wish you peace and love,
Diane Cassady

Comment by Peter Glawatz

August 18, 2010 @ 11:53 am

Thinking of you and yours.

God’s peace,

PJG

Comment by Susan Pfabe-Wiggans

August 18, 2010 @ 7:44 pm

It was such a treat to talk with you when I was in Seward. I am keeping you and your family close to my heart and in my prayers. I hope you are all feeling the strength and comfort that can only come from God.

Peace,
Susan

Comment by Rhoda

August 18, 2010 @ 8:49 pm

Thank you for continuing to write and share with your family and friends, Connie. I’m checking your blog often as we travel, as I will after get back to Nairobi on Friday. Our prayers continue to be with you and your family. Congratulations on your 50th anniversary. God be with you each step of your journey.
Love,
Rhoda

Comment by Warren Gould

August 21, 2010 @ 6:07 pm

Dear Connie: I often think of Rosy’s choir in Seward when we sang “A Faithful Shepherd is Our Lord”. Remember, from the podium, he would point to the individual who would sing the solo–with no advanced warning.

I always remember your beautiful voice when you were chosen to sing: it was so solid and uplifting and inspirational to me: your sound of conviction always gave me strength. I have often relived this in my mind.

You are still singing the solo today in your writings. I am so fortunate to have you to guide my strength and faith today. Your conviction still carries through in your writings…

I wish i could do the same for you now in your tribulations.

Warren Gould

Comment by Carol Schroeder McDaniel

August 21, 2010 @ 6:59 pm

Wishing you the peace that only God can give.
You are loved. +

Carol and family

Comment by dick gale

August 22, 2010 @ 3:26 pm

Dear Connie and all

Please know that our thoughts continue to be with all of you.

Southern CA is finally getting a little summer w/ 90+ several days, but always cool nights. Susan’s garden has been very bountiful, despite (or maybe partially because) the somewhat cooler weather, with lots of 75 degree highs.

You got an especially big dose of positive thoughts today as I again attended the Christian Science Church in Laguna Beach. As I said before, Connie, you (and your many commentors) have contributed so much to our spiritual growth over these past years. That has meant a great deal to us, and has affected us both positively in ways we would never have dreamed of.

Take care, dear friend, and know that we continue to send comforting thoughts to you and your family. (Alphie also certainly does his part, as well. We are probably 2-3 years from our next dog — the many new dogs in our retirement community have, however, got us thinking!!)

Warmest Best,

dick and susan gale
laguna woods, california

Comment by Carol Hoerger

August 24, 2010 @ 7:16 pm

Dear Connie and Charles,
I think of you often and continue to admire your faith, stamina and writing skills. My prayers are with you as you struggle through these last days before the final victory. You are an inspiration to all. May God continue to bless and keep you.
With love,
Carol (
(Give the “new” Alphie a hug from me!)

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