March 31, 2009
I have suffered a setback. As I reported before, I embarked on three separate rounds of five infusions of Vidaza with the hope of delaying or stopping the AML. I completed thirteen of the fifteen when in Thursday’s early morning hours my body shouted “Enough!” It began shortly after midnight with intestinal cramping which increased in intensity to the degree of “On a scale of one to ten” I felt to be at eleven or more and by 2:30 AM we were at the local emergency room with my entire focus narrowed to a desire for release from the pain. Hurry. Please. Soon. Since morphine gives me headaches, Demarol brought blessed oblivion. This time there was internal bleeding and I remained in the hospital until Saturday. Now I move pale and weakly through the hours, swallowing antibiotics, eating bananas, rice, applesauce and toast and healing very slowly. I will receive Aranesp and Neulasta and perhaps another blood transfusion in the coming days. The stress of the Chemotherapy will be at its greatest toward the end of this week, so after a few more days, I hope to be on the other side of this present situation.
And so spring advances – today there are low clouds moving rapidly overhead, and snow showers are accompanied by north winds. Since March did indeed come in like a lamb, all of the above was to be expected as the month exits with lion like roaring and blustering. We do know that these sayings do not become written on the foreheads of our cooperate memories on a whim. The different species of our summer birds are now arriving every other day – yesterday the cowbirds arrived, and the day before that the beautiful ring necked doves sat on top of the principle bird feeder seemingly pleased with what they surveyed. The clamor of the territorial bird song grows and we anticipate more in the days to come. This is the season of wonder at our Creator’s choice of sounds and colors. . . how does the daffodil sit through the iron soil of winter to emerge so bright and yellow and determined? It is always a new lesson in endurance and hope and it is joined by many such signs in the lengthening days of the coming season.
