April 13, 2009
This morning I read the April entries in this Blog from the previous years. Life does seem to move in a large circular pattern, with the same “first tick” sightings, daffodils blooming, and concerns about blood readings, cancer progression, treatments, and physical changes all remarked upon. A longer, slower decline is difficult to imagine.
A cool, damp morning begins this April day which has me looking in the mirror and saying with dismay, “Whence my Crowning Glory?” (translated, “My hair is falling out.”) Why would those sturdy follicles loose their grip now, after all this time? The hair is thinning rapidly, but I have not yet reached the comb-over stage. I can’t decide whether it might be better to have it all fall out and then have one of those re-hairing events that one reads about, where the next crop comes in thick and curly or in splendid red tresses or the like, or hope that this present shedding is a sympathetic occurrence with Alphie. His winter coat is removing itself hair by hair in gentle sprinkles everywhere he goes.
I am nearing the end of my last red blood transfusion’s boost in energy, so I walk more slowly, breathe more heavily, and think more deeply about end times. The Neupogen shots did move the white blood cell count up slightly, but not enough to elicit much hope of a triumphant return of bone marrow output. A week from today one more marrow draw is scheduled – this to show whether the last months’ efforts with chemotherapy have accomplished anything. So we move onward in the circle of life, grateful always for the good things and blessings that embellish our progress and smooth out the path ahead.
PS: John-paul, this Blog’s illustrator, is traveling “across the waters” in the next weeks, so his additions will come as he is able to find time and access.