Constance Ore is a retired Teacher, Choir Director, and Organist. And a formidable cook.

May 12, 2009

Filed under: — Constance at 8:31 pm on Tuesday, May 12, 2009


To be “neutropenic” can be compared to the person dressed in sheer clothing in the midst of everyone properly covered in armor as all enter a field of battle. One doesn’t have a prayer against the onslaught of possible illnesses, and though I have been wearing a mask as I have gone out and about, I have not been able to avoid getting sick. This time I have had sort of an endless “24 hour flu” which began last Thursday, and is only now beginning to recede. Sadly, once the body no longer responds to the medicines that force the stem cells to make more white blood cells, there is not a lot that can be done. White cells only last 24 hours or so, so it isn’t useful to have transfusions as it is for red blood. It appears that the chemotherapy did nothing at all to improve the blood condition, so once more we are looking at a more severe landscape than we have had before. Again, I am “sick and tired” of being sick and tired.


Always, there is the “meanwhile” part of the story, and this story’s “meanwhile” usually moves to my setting of Sanctuary, where everything within view teems with life. I identified another bird this week, (black and white warbler) and the oriole and the catbird both came on Mother’s Day. Now the list of summer regulars is complete, and the daily drama plays out in front of our windows. Alphie has discovered that there are land crabs under the earth on the path and near the wetland streams. This means that he is suddenly digging holes with chunks of soil flying everywhere, and causing the walking path to be full of potholes waiting to trip up the unwary. This is the first time that he has noticed the life under the surface of the earth in this way, and that began when I would rest at several places on the path. As I sat there viewing the treetops and the scenery in general, at first Alphie would sit quietly next to me, just as a good and faithful dog should. But shortly he began to wander, sniff, and then, dig, dig, dig. It was much better when he would take off in futile pursuit of deer and rabbits. And of course, whatever is living down there is long gone no matter how deep he digs.

“What a Friend” [click to listen]
As life goes forward, I hear in my mind Charles playing his composition, “What A Friend We Have in Jesus” and I replay the words that I loved to sing loudly (complete with the sliding tone between “Je” and “sus”) when I was about eight years old. I hear his exuberant and energetic presentation of that old well-worn hymn and I think, “Oh yes. . . .”

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry Everything to God in prayer.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit; Oh, what needless pain we bear –
All because we do not carry Everything to God in prayer!

5 Comments

Comment by irene Beethe

May 13, 2009 @ 6:10 pm

Dear Connie,
The best respite is prayer. We don’t know God’s ways…(I’ll bet you’ve heard that over and over…) but we know His great and boundless love for you – amid everything. It is wonderful that music will help sustain you and carry the beautiful words of faith in your mind as again you struggle.
Love, prayers, and hugs to you from Michigan!
Irene

Comment by Kerry Warden

May 13, 2009 @ 9:42 pm

Dear Connie,

I discovered your blog tonight as I researched Vidaza vs. Decitabine treatments for my very young 83 year old father who has just been diagnosed with AML.

I am so grateful to you for your detailed blog! Not only is it beautiful with all the great pictures and stories, it is incredibly valuable to someone like me, trying to learn about the disease and treatments and not knowing what to expect for my Dad.

I wish you well and hope that things miraculously improve for you. We have researched stem cell therapy with Dr. Slavin in Tel Aviv, and are excited about what he is accomplishing there for a fraction of the cost of that care in the US. Plus, he is working with the elderly with great success. We may decide to go there if need be.

I hope that your faith helps you find peace with all that you’ve been forced to endure. Please take good care and keep up the great writing. You’re a huge help to those of us just beginning this fight. Thank you!

Comment by Caroline Schau

May 14, 2009 @ 7:43 am

Connie,
In the days when we shared a house with Grandma Rothe, she said at one point, “Why has God left me on this earth so long, I want to go home.” At 20 I had no answer, but when the Lord did call her home, I was 30 with at least one answer to that question. Whether that was His purpose or not, she stood as an example to my mostly unchurched self; patience, humor in the face of her infirmities, unquestioning faith, and some days simply endurance.
You are just such an example to many, willingly or not, and we thank God for you.

Comment by Heidi Ore

May 16, 2009 @ 8:32 am

You are here to share visions of Indigo Buntings with your children! I am still reeling over that sighting on wednesday. It was a glow in the dark throbbing neon blue spot in the green green ocean that sanctuary becomes – amazing.

You are just wonderful to share artichokes with as well.

Take care on this Saturday

Love Heidi

Comment by Jonathan & Dawn Mueller

May 16, 2009 @ 9:56 am

Connie & Charles…

We continue to pray for you both – While many of us cannot begin to understand or comprehend what you have gone through these past 4 years, we do know that the Lord does, and so we trust that He will continue to be faithful to His promises and care for you in the days and weeks ahead.

Peace…

Jonathan & Dawn

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