November 29, 2006
Winter truly arrived today. Very cold north winds pushing clouds and carrying geese southward wiped away the unnaturally warm temperatures in a matter of minutes. We had been inhaling deeply and telling one another that it felt like we had gone south though we knew we were just moments away from the reality of Nebraska in November. Charles and I did get some outdoor Christmas lights out and wood logs in for burning just in time. There is no snow or other aspects of “Winter Wonderland” so Sanctuary is dark and hunkering down against the wind. Deer move swiftly from one copse of trees to another as Alphie and I come by, and occasional crows call from the tops of the pines.
In the days leading up to Thanksgiving Charles and I had a Chicago visit including attendance at the Lyric Opera for “Salome” best known for its “Dance of the Seven Veils” which is required for the diva singing the lead role. All transportation went very smoothly, friends, children and grandchildren were a delight, and the entire adventure was lovely. The opera was grand in its full orchestra and wonderful singing, with the most memorable part centering around Salome singing to the head of John the Baptist which she lifts off the platter. “Why won’t you open your eyes and look at me?” she asks. The diva, Deborah Voigt, conveyed the insanity of it all very well, even though she had to arrive at that point via the “Dance” (which was downright tasteful compared to the head on the platter thing), singing in German, and a time frame of less than two hours. We returned home on Thanksgiving Day, avoiding the crowds and finishing off with a dinner at Heidi and Jon’s in Lincoln.
In and about Newell, Iowa, there is a group of cancer survivors who have started the “I Will Not Worry Foundation” with the intent of having community with other people there who have either been through the experience of chemotherapy and are in remission, or those presently in the process of dealing with the illness. They use their funds for a JustCuz gift of $$ to those who might be in need of a boost; my Aunt Noni lives there, and through her information, I was included in their largess. This is a gift intended to be used in a personal way “just because”. The knowledge of a group of people who are walking along through life on parallel roads to my own and who gathered to say, “I Will Not Worry!” has been an ongoing help to me. When the questions about how my body will deal with the recurring chemotherapy or how this strange illness will ultimately determine my future, I think, “I will not worry” because I realize it is a pointless exercise. It helps to remember that others have these thoughts, too, and that the determination to set aside anxiety is a powerful weapon. Knowing that I am in God’s hands is another powerful weapon, but this new life seems to require everything that one can find and awareness of others reaching out to hold and carry is wonderful indeed.