January 26, 2010
Sunlight has returned and dropped upon us amazing restorative qualities. Last week I had an overwhelming urge to flee the cold and relentless winter, and I began to make arrangements to join a friend in Florida. This would require a plane trip – the most commonplace sort of thing for so many of us. Charles met this intent with a stoic silence, but eventually, he said that it seemed a bit odd that after spending several years earth borne because of my lack of immunities, I would determine to “just do it”. He went on to say that while avoiding airplanes and airports might not be the factor in my remaining on the planet, it might possibly be a factor. I realized that I wanted to run away – not only from the cold and grey, but also from myself. Sadly, one cannot pack a bit of luggage and fly away from the reality of ones’ own being. I suppose if that were possible, there would be a lot more traffic in all categories of transport.
Alphie was the consummate dear dog during this time. He didn’t follow his usual pattern of going upstairs to lie down for his morning or afternoon nap, but rather, he remained very near, sometimes with his head on my foot, looking his usual soulful self and sighing hugely. He may have been sending “Bone, think bone” messages, but naturally I took his behavior to mean that he was in complete sympathy with me in my distress.
For now, we wait. John-paul sent a lovely photo of a little cherry tree blooming next to his back door in Seattle, and spoke of “happy rain” falling. “Like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.”* And praise God, in its own good time, spring always comes.
*Kahlel Gibran