Constance Ore is a retired Teacher, Choir Director, and Organist. And a formidable cook.

February 9, 2010

Filed under: — Constance at 5:41 pm on Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A white sky, snow on the ground, and patient grey tree branches moving in the cold wind define this day. The sharp shinned hawk seems to be constantly on the hunt, keeping the small birds away from the feeders. I just saw it try for a finch that had tucked itself into the small twigs of the Korean lilac. The hawk got tangled up and in those few seconds the finch flew off into bushes that are wrapped in wild rose vines. This is the best place of all for the small birds because the thorns make it inaccessible to raptors.

Our trip to Kansas City was good. We spent the entire time in the Crown Center because the snows and rains kept falling and my energy level dictated a limited menu of activities. Our room was on the 14th floor of the hotel, and there were floor to ceiling windows along one entire wall, so we looked out over the city with all of its changing activities during the daylight hours, and the myriad lights after dark. When we went about, Charles pushed me in a wheelchair. “Glorious” was great fun with the actors presenting the story with much charm and verve. The woman who played the lead was wincingly convincing*.

Early last week I had a sudden drop in the hemoglobin count accompanied by an increase in the bone pain, and I believe that this was the onset of a return to living on my own blood resources. The tired that arrives with the failing red blood is like none other that I have experienced. There is the “good tired” that one feels after working very hard and getting something virtuous completed, or the “good tired” of having had a really great party. Then there is the “tired” of looking out at winter for another set of days, or the “tired” of the political landscape. This blood tired is a withdrawal of “being”. There is less appetite for every part of life, including food or social interaction. Moving about is painful and cumbersome and sleep comes at any time of the day with the eyelids descending and conscious thought retreating. I will get a blood transfusion very soon, and hopefully, good days will return again.

*I might have said “convincingly wincing” – but I think that would have made the meaning confusing.


Comment by irene Beethe

February 9, 2010 @ 6:03 pm

Dear Connie, We pray for strength and for the return of the “good” kind of tired. You are in our thoughts and prayers daily and appreciate your updates. It helps us focus our prayers too. We are receiving snow today. Just a constant event. Snow day tomorrow? Who knows? God continues to control everything in our lives and knowing that He knows the outcome provides peace for our soul. May you know that peace and rest tonight. Love to you and Charles, Irene

Comment by Heidi Ore

February 11, 2010 @ 2:28 pm


I hope that the blood today gives you some energy and brings you back to the tired, at the end of the day kind of tired.

Thank you for your definitions – Merriam-Webster’s definition doesn’t do tired justice.

Love as always, Heidi

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