February 23, 2010
This morning there were seven red finches in a row on the topmost branch of the plum bush, all facing me and without a clue how lovely they looked in the sunlight. How bright and fine everything appeared for a change! This was the first day that remained sunny throughout in a very long time.
In a recently acquired book on care and maintenance of orchids, dear Charles read that spraying the plants with Listerine mouthwash will either kill or drive away aphids, white fly, and all other pests. He has taken to this wisdom with his usual vigor, and now, at least once a week, there arises from the greenhouse the scent of great amounts of mouthwash. Who knew how overwhelming that would be? In spite of the cold I fling open the windows and breathe deeply. If the check out people at the store take note of the frequent purchase of multiple bottles of mouthwash by the dignified looking gentleman, do they wonder why he needs so much? And if they asked, would they believe him if he said it was for his orchids?
Today we went to visit the oncologist. The conversation was a very satisfying one, because he answered all sorts of questions that we had likely asked before, but needed to ask again. One concerned the nature of “blasts”. He told us they are infant cells formed in the bone marrow, but not yet designated for the job they are to perform, whether that of the white cells, or red, or other. The cancer causes these useless cells to continue to proliferate, taking up more and more space and causing the body to be unable to create the needed mature cells for it to function correctly. It appears that well over 35% of my blood is given over to blasts now and the number continues to grow.
We visited about all sorts of things, though the question at the core was really “How much longer will I live?” I think this question has been hovering over humanity from the beginning, and we know well that only God knows, but we ask anyway. Jesus says to his disciples, “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:25-26) It is always the words and wisdom of Scripture and the beauty of the hymns of the faith that carry me onward, so now I become the child again and pray:
“Now the light has gone away; Father, listen while I pray,
Asking Thee to watch and keep And to send me quiet sleep.
Jesus, Savior, wash away All that has been wrong today;
Help me ev’ry day to be Good and gentle, more like Thee.
Let my near and dear ones be Always near and dear to Thee;
Oh, bring me and all I love to Thy happy home above”.