June 13, 2007
Rains fall straight down outside the windows this morning and the plants are standing very still and straight accepting the gift. Here, the water is a grand good thing because much of summer is dry and defined by dust-laden winds that blow hot and unrelenting over everything. Alphie and I are still awaiting the moment when it will be prudent to walk – just as I am thinking that we could make a swift pass through Sanctuary, thunder sounds and I decide that I don’t need the companionship of possible lightening strikes. Long ago I had absolute faith in rubber-soled shoes, but alas, once that illusion was removed, I could no longer move through a charged universe feeling securely grounded and impervious to negative energies.
I feel better! The framework of that simple statement continues to shift; at first, the compromising of my taste buds seemed huge; after experiencing a constant queasiness abetted upon occasion by stomach cramps that folded me over, the absence of sensation seems benign. Perhaps many people take the daily inventory of the physical self as I do in the first morning’s light – is the body going to work a little? A lot?
It’s a very strange lifestyle, moving through time with a series of tunnels to either choose to traverse or avoid. One never knows the length or darkness of the tunnel, but the hope is that the light will be bright at its end. If the experience is avoided the apparent outcome is one in which there are no longer options. . . death comes sooner – such is the word of the doctors and the short histories of those people who have had this disease. Now I am in the bright light at the end of the last tunnel and the gratitude to God for everything is deeper. The miracles of each aspect of life are made new again – eyes and ears perceive more sharply and the creation in which I live is richer than I noted previously. The gifts of family, friends, home and place are wonderful in ways beyond my words to describe them. So it is on this day with the rains still falling straight down and the thunder still telling us to remain indoors.