April 8, 2008
It is quite cool and almost raining this AM; the squirrels are really hitting the feeders and I am chasing them away because they are so greedy. I will say to Alphie, “Squirrel, squirrel!” and suddenly rush to the downstairs door and fling it open. Alphie runs out as fast as he can, but he has not a clue what it all means. . . the squirrels run off in directions that he is not going, and he stands there bemused, then comes back in for a treat. Perhaps one day he will connect the dots, but I am not holding my breath. I really don’t want him to actually catch the squirrels anyway, just give them some reasons to share the resources.
These lovely days of spring unveil new beginnings at every level. There are very tiny white flowers embedded in the lawn out in front of the house, and there are large green leaves of lilies growing at a furious rate. The frogs have begun their chorus in the wetland under the huge cottonwood tree down at the southwest corner of Sanctuary and more species of birds arrive daily since this is a place where many come to raise their families. The down side is knowing that somewhere out there, ticks are beginning to thaw out and stir and sniff the air for warm blood. We check Alphie every day, and when the first one dares to attempt a landing on his being, he will get the Frontline between the shoulders. The therapy is completely effective, but I hate to start it before it is needed.
This April is bonus time. There is joy in greeting each new day inside a body that has energy. In November, we were presented with a bleak picture of the future when the chemotherapy was no longer an option, and for a while each event was experienced in my mind as the last birthday, the last Thanksgiving, the last Christmas and so forth. Now, dying has been pushed onto the back burner and is no longer the specter around the edges of each future plan. Life is an extraordinary event full of thankfulness and delight at everything. This is hard to describe; I think perhaps I have arrived at the place of living in the “now” as many contemporary gurus expound upon, and as Christ advocated in his sermon on the mountain “take no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” Today was wonderful, and it is quite likely that tomorrow will be, too. To LIFE!