June 21, 2006
First day of summer, and we are in Chicago in stormy weather. We embarked on a little road trip, the first such adventure since before the MDS entered our lives. This drive across Iowa and into Illinois has been great fun, as well a good reality check. I tire more quickly than before, but the shocking discovery is that my hair has thinned quite remarkably. Somehow I missed that at home, and under the lights of the motel mirrors, I noticed that I could see a lot of skull through my formerly adequate head covering; sort of like a part that has widened far past the acceptable width. I said to Charles, “I don’t have nearly as much hair as I did before!” He replied calmly that yes, he had noticed that happening since about my fourth round of Vidaza, and I said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He said very logically that he didn’t think it was anything that needed comment since there was nothing to be done anyway. Somehow, I had concluded that hair loss from chemotherapy would happen in a dramatic fashion, with hair all over one’s pillow, or coming out in the bristles of the hair brush, and in the absence of that, I felt quite pleased that this was not a side effect for me. Now it appears that my hair is just quietly leaving and I may be joining the other women and men whose cancer treatments have killed off the hair follicles. Some wear caps or hats, and some have determined to face the world au natural, and if they look unusual to you, get over it. Since it is obviously something that many people have accepted as part of the journey through the disease, it doesn’t seem appropriate to begin hand wringing, but I now am considering a bald self and it is not a pretty picture. Knitting daughter Janna and I have been visiting about a fine hat that would fit the skull and perhaps have changeable ornaments to add as the mood dictates