February 9, 2009
My enjoyment of the blood transfusion “bump” was short lived. One week after receiving the red blood, I started into an intestinal problem that increased in intensity each day. By Sunday morning, we were at the Emergency Room because I was in great pain with a distended belly and dreadful diarrhea and throwing up. I am now hospitalized in a room that is kept closed because of my neutropenia. People have to check in before visiting me and everyone must wash hands coming and going. The diagnosis I have been given is that of having “Clostridium difficile” (‘Kloh-strid-ee-oom diff-ee-seel’), referred to as C-Diff. the C-Diff illness was made possible by the ingestion of the antibiotics needed to stop the sepsis or blood infection in the finger. Those antibiotics then killed off the controlling bacteria that live in everyone’s innards, and this cleared the field for the bad ones to proliferate. They are also living in everyone, but are kept in check unless antibiotics kill them off. When that happens, the wicked bacteria grow in great numbers and release toxins in the process. The toxins can eat the walls of the intestines, and generally can carry one off to eternity via that route. Now I am on another set of the heavy duty antibiotics (Vancomycin and Flagel) that are required to kill off these things, but in the process, with no immunities, other systems can go awry. So here I stay for a bit until this is gotten under control. Charles says that with myself gone, Alphie is very subdued and sad and no creature can look more tragic than our dear Alphie.
We have an anemometer to measure wind velocity on top of the house, and Charles told me that today he saw it hit fifty mph. This fierce south wind brought very warm temperatures for this time of year, and some rain as well. I am sorry that I missed the day and the drama; inside these walls everything is very quiet and controlled if one discounts the incessant buzz and tick of the IV pump and the air control system. The oncology floor is very busy with someone in every room – one of tonight’s nurses is very large, loud and officious, but the other one is quite nice, and fortunately the nice one seems to be in charge of most of my needs. The nursing job looks like a lot of hard work coupled with great responsibility, and most of the time, there is great appreciation for the people that have chosen this profession. Now we wait for tomorrow and the healing that we hope the medications can bring – perhaps I can return to my beloved Sanctuary soon!
Tuesday morning: I will be in the hospital at least another day and night – progress is slow, and I seemed to go backward instead of forward, so in the early hours right after the doctor’s visit, I had given way to tears when the Nurse Manager came in for the first time. She sat down and gave me great comfort and empathy, and I reflect now how incredible it is that I am given so much support and care by so many as I stumble on toward eternity.