Constance Ore is a retired Teacher, Choir Director, and Organist. And a formidable cook.

February 24, 2009

Filed under: — Constance at 5:44 pm on Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Today I had the second of five Chemotherapy infusions. All went as expected, and with a port, it is not a great trial. Yesterday, when I returned to the Chemo Room at the oncologists, the place was filled, and in the chair next to me was a woman who looked tired and grumpy. She said to me, “Is this your first time here?” I assured her that I had been many times, and she sighed and said, “Well, so have I. I don’t think I can go on much longer. . . I have colon cancer and lung cancer”. I immediately commiserated with her and wished her well as she went on, and after a bit she said, “Well, what kind of cancer do you have?” I said, “Mine is Acute Myeloid Leukemia”. Silence. Then she said, “Oh” and no more. This led me to think, “Goodness, this is like Chemo room poker! She had a couple of aces, and I have a Full House. Then I looked at the man next to me on the other side, lying there very pale and frail, and at my glance, the woman sitting with him and having overheard the conversation, said to me, “Prostate cancer; it’s very hard for him, bless him”. Once again, I commiserated and thought, “Royal Flush” right there. Of course, the true winner of the house was the woman standing at the desk in the Reception room hearing that she didn’t have to come back for six months because she appeared to be in remission. She left beaming with delight.


I got my voice back after dropping the inhalant. That has been a true joy, and again, my oncologist went through the chemical contents, etc., and said, “This just doesn’t make sense to me. . . that stuff should not have caused you to become so hoarse.” He immediately contacted the pulmonary guy to see if he knew anything. One tends to move right on in these instances realizing that the medical community cannot know everything as they must juggle enormous amounts of information. I love having my sound back because it goes before you and informs the person(s) to whom you are speaking something about yourself. I heard myself from inside my head and could see exactly how it was affecting the hearers.


Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, and though I will not be joining them, thousands of worshippers will gather and receive the cross of ashes upon their foreheads with the words, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Dust thou art, and to dust thou shalt return”. In our society, such a direct reminder of our mortality is rarely ritualized, and it is always good to be stopped for a moment in the rush of living this life on earth to consider our common end. Of course the words of comfort follow, “I am the resurrection and the life” says the Lord, “and those who believe in me though they die, yet shall they live, and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die”. (John 11:25-26a)

3 Comments

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Comment by Mindy Werling

February 25, 2009 @ 3:47 pm

Hi, Connie!
Your poker analogy is so creative! How like you to find something lighthearted in such a serious moment. You are a real card! (a Queen, of course)

I hope that you are feeling well today and that Alphie is behaving as any good dog should do on Ash Wednesday. I am sure that right now Darby is sprawled on my recliner at home, head flopped on the armrest and one eye trained on the street outside, just waiting for some action. I read that the Obamas are going to adopt a Portuguese water dog in April. I googled the breed and saw images that reminded me of Darby in some ways. Should be fun to watch!

It is true — there is no death for those who believe in Him. Just glorious life beyond anything we can imagine!

Love you,
Mindy

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Comment by heidi

February 25, 2009 @ 4:58 pm

Your beginning analogy is perhaps your most eloquent and poignant description of your experience to date. I have related it to almost everyone I know here and all they can say is wow –

I remember when the “winner” waltzing out of the doctor’s office was you too – it was a glorious feeling and I wasn’t even the direct recipient – I basked in the glow.

I continue to bask in your ever warm and wonderful glow and as a winner, as a friend put it, in the parent lottery – a whole other game that no one has control over either –

Blessings on this Ash Wednesday, I hope your Tuesday was fat

Love Heidi

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Comment by dick gale

March 3, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

3/3/09

Hi Connie and all:

Getting ready for “Heaven” got in the way of Concert Reports . . . .

And, now we just checked into one “Heaven” spot. We are at the Beachbomber Motel (beachcombermotel.com) in San Clemente — one of the spots I wrote about in response to acomment from you that your idea of Heaven might be a place with trees by the Pacific Ocean. We are here for three weekday nights, the last part of the lower-rate season.

Last week’s concerts did include our first Robert Kapilow What Makes It Great presentation of the Dvorak Quintet Opus 81, and another Laguna Canyon Sunday afternoon chamber concert by the Third Wheel trio (thirdwheeltrio.com), a young flute, clarinet, bassoon trio trying to make its way in the crowded LA area classical music scene. A little more later — the stuff I had started is on the at home computer.

Your playing card notes on the chemo area were interesting, to say the least! We are glad that you are done with that for now, and that you are no longer a reluctant contralto.

We are thinking of you as we feel the warm sun and listen to the surf. As before, a part of your strong spirit is certainly here with us.

take care,

dick and susan gale

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