August 6, 2006
Today it rained! Everything here at Sanctuary immediately became green again and the curled dry leaves opened in relief. The sky is still full of restless clouds in differing shades of gray but I think our gift of water is complete. I did a nice “Thank you, thank you God!” dance in the woods with only Alphie looking on. I think he hoped I had discovered a rabbit or something pungent and interesting because he stopped and looked at me in surprise.
We are closing the day preparing for a three day jaunt into Kansas, where we will visit Charles parents’ and grandparents’ graves. There, near the Oklahoma border, the people talk with a distinctive accent that is touched with a southern softening of the consonants and the south wind is constant and very hot in summer. Most of the graves have a top of very smooth concrete or marble, like a blanket over the site, and the particulars of the person beneath are written at the head of it. Where Father and Mother Ore are buried, wheat fields are just across the road, and the town is a little distance away. When Father Ore was in his ninties he had outlived most of his boyhood friends and neighbors. On our visits, he would drive Charles slowly through the cemetery and tell him that he came often because all of his friends were there and he knew that they would always be at home.
The miracle of “Remission!” continues. As the days pass, the experience of the first part of this year recedes to the degree where it has a feeling of unreality – but then I am reminded that at the end of this month, I will go through another seven days of the chemotherapy. I have a sense of living in a beautiful and peaceful interlude rather than in “real time”. In a way it is strange and not unlike an ongoing vacation.